Re-Membering Grief and Love

There are many re-membered stories in which I explore my journey with romantic relationships and the role that they play in my life. In the real world, I tend to be shy about sharing these stories and even here, although I'm grateful to have this outlet to share them, I realize that I'm not entirely forthcoming and I do not always give these stories permission to be a part of my soul journey. I recognize how ridiculous this is, such love can be an incredible guide to soul. A romantic Other can play such a deep part in The Work, through reflection and mirroring and showing us our shadow (the part of us that we have buried, that longs to be seen). I know all of this, yet I continue to belittle such relationships, seeing them as silly or frivolous, not good enough to be a significant part of my journey. I've been confused about romance and the role it may or may not play in my life.

Last night I had a pretty big realization of the role such relationships have played in my life in the past. I have often times gone into relationships with a deep knowing that they will not last. Yet I continue down the path with an Other, knowing that the death of the relationship is inevitable. I am reading a manuscript that a friend lent me knowing about my intimate relationship with grief. I'm not even sure of the name of the book but when I picked it up last night, the words on the pages moved through me as they spoke of Love as a gateway into Grief. The words spoke of how nothing lasts and how, as much as we try to deny or ignore it, everything we love we lose. I was especially touched by a poem recited in the pages, by Eleh Ezkerah called "These We Remember".

'Tis a fearful thing

To love

What death can touch.

To love, to hope, to dream,

And oh, to lose.

A thing for fools, this

Love,

But a holy thing

To love what death can touch.

For your life has lived in me;

You laugh once lifted me;

You word was a gift to me.

To remember this brings painful joy.

'Tis a human thing, love,

A holy thing,

To love

What death can touch.

~

In my search for love over the years, was I also seeking out grief? In the deeper parts of my Self did I know my grief was hidden, longing to be seen? In my own way, was I subconsciously bringing the grief to a boil through such relationships, knowing that the grief longed to spill over? As much beauty there was in love, there was the same amount of beauty in my experience with 'breaking up', the breaking open. I joke that I'm really good at breaking up, but it's true. I have had just as extraordinary experiences with the end of relationships as I have in coming together with another. I remember ending things with a woman I was dating for a significant amount of time and feeling closer to her on that day that I said good bye, than I had through out our entire relationship. Over the past year or two, as I've mentioned previously, I've had many experiences of walking away, saying good bye, in order to follow what was calling me. There has been so much substance to these good bye's, so much love and grief.

I'm not to surprised that I've not put this together before, although it's so simple. In my work with 'permission to love' I was not giving romantic love permission to be. I've talked of 'showing up' in relationship, although it is usually fleeting. I also talk of longing for a partner to share the beauty of this journey with. Could I be all talk? If previously, romantic heartache has equaled recognizable grief for me, now that I  have an intimate relationship with grief, where does that leave me in romantic relationships? Many have stood before me, and stand before me now, asking me to love them. At what point am I going to stop saying no? At what point am I going to stop walking, running, pushing others away?

I don't know, but I will continue to practice patience with myself and I'm pretty sure I'll continue to show up in love, (I can't help myself!) being a little more gentle with others and myself in love.

Live the Question

The heat persists and seems to send me into slow motion. Afternoons are spent in a daze, my thoughts melodic yet incomplete. I can’t help but take siesta in the warmest part of the day and come to life in the cool of night, re-membered through dance, love, laughter and longing.

Each morning I watch the sunrise with fascination. As my stiff hand unfolds I ignore the idea that I may have arthritis. My feet are raw and worn but try as I might, I can only bring myself to wear shoes for more than an hour or two. Even as I enjoy the quiet I wonder where the others have gone. I long to connect with my people and am confused by the fact that I could never find them all in one place.

The question that lives in my heart daily: How can I bring my gifts to the world? My not so tangible but ever important gifts. I long to work with others in my unique way, through my understanding of grief and the love that comes with it.

I recognize that it takes a special other to really see me and I am both proud and saddened by this knowing. Is there a time coming that we as humans will recognize each other, no longer afraid of our true nature that exists with nature? Who recognizes themselves in me today? I think of you often, do you think of me? It feels selfish to ask. 

I attempt to conceal myself with old habits and question my place when I look at my depleting bank account. I’m in love with this town and an other in a faraway place. I’m curious to see where my heart will lead and taking in every beautiful moment along the way.

If there is heaviness in my words it comes from these living questions. If there is joy, it comes from the courage of an open heart.

Time to Re-Member

The Universe is calling out for a change in each of us, begging us to re-member. Heed to the call. Economies are collapsing, the Earth is suffering, resources depleting, children expressing themselves through violence, the list goes on and on. Yet we still cling to hatred.  There is hope, there are people who are waking up. Stand up for change. Do not waste energy hating those that are different than you but ask "What do I have to learn from you?"

I was walking up to the grocery store the other day and there was a man just getting out of a cab. He was screaming at the cab driver to go back to his country, calling him a terriorst. This man was full of hatred but there was something else. He was surrounded in fear, self loathing and grief he did not know how to express.

That same day I had lunch with a few of my associates that I've known for years, all of a certain religious background. One staunch Mormon, who refuses to see anything different than stories he's been told, a woman who is on the same path but obviously does not want to be and another who's just a great guy who happens to be Mormon. We got into an interesting discussion about victims of abuse, whether or not to talk to children about sex, and what we have to learn as parents and children of parents. At one point in the conversation, the first man I mentioned brings up his sister in law who has a "problem" with homosexual attraction. "A problem?" I said, and he brushed me off. I walked away from the discussion not feeling angry or upset but grateful.

I did not come from a liberal family. (I don't like that word liberal it sounds so political). I was not taught to have an open mind. Yet somehow that as always been in me, a part of who I am. I remember at a young age my brother-in-law saying to me, out of the blue, "Don't ever marry a black man." This is the same brother in law that asked "Did I read your t-shirt right?" when he saw a picture of me in my "I'm not straight and I support equal rights" t-shirt. I don't get to wrapped up in the political scene although I did march around downtown Salt Lake City in 2008 with thousands of others protesting Prop 8. As I watched the rainbow flag glide past the church office building I remember being amazed that so much love could come out of a protest. There was not a hint of hate in that crowd.

I don't watch the news, I don't start arguments. but I've held hands with a woman in public, I don't pretend to be gay or straight and I support those who are either, I have friends who I know are illegal immigrants and I'm so glad they're here and I have been blessed to know them. I speak openly about depression and I don't feel different that people with mental or physical disabilities. I've been a drug addict, I've no qualms against anyone who has so much pain or grief that they don't know what to turn to but drugs or alcohol. I've never lived on the street but I've been homeless by choice. And no, I don't very often toot my own horn, but as I walked away from that lunch with my friends, people who are not at all like me, I felt proud of my life of equality. Not because I worked hard at it, or because I have a lot to fight for but because I came that way and I live my life as an example, every day.

Remember, that while you've certainly waded through your shit, there are others who have horribly, difficult stories that may be different than yours. Stories that you cannot imagine surviving. Remember this before you put another down or decide to hate. Look at what qualities they possess that you don't like to see in yourself, or on the flip side, what attributes do they have that you long for in yourself? Remember the love that you came from and what an important role it can play in these difficult times. The Universe needs you to re-member. Do not look outside yourself for the leader.

Stories of Stories

Lately I find myself turning to my journals and its almost like picking up the phone and calling a good friend. Writing has always been a large part of my journey yet even today as I read what I wrote only a few weeks ago, I am sometimes surprised at my words and the eloquence around them. There is also a knowing behind them, a truth.

Last year I would wake up in the morning, set a timer for fifteen minutes and write my "pages" as I called it, writing down my stream of consciousness. I would write whatever came up for me. I'm not sure what I wrote about, I've not gone back to read this journal. I am sure that sometimes I simply wrote about the weather and there were other times I would have profound insights. Either way it was a good way for me to sort through my thoughts, release them, or simply send my wishes out into the universe.

I have kept a dream journal which is difficult for me to be consistent with, especially when I was moving around a lot. It started on the Vision Quest and every night I would sleep with my journal next to me and a pen inside of it with my owl feather in the pocket of my tent because owl feathers are known to reveal secrets. I find that it helps to make a conscious decision before I go to sleep to write my dreams down once I wake. When I lived in San Diego, D and I used to share our dreams with each other, we were both keeping a dream journal, and I found that helped me get back into the habbit because I had someone to answer to. I find if I don't write them down I have a hard time remember and sometimes I'll wake up thinking "Damn, there was something I was supposed to remember from the dream world and I can't quite put my finger on it."

In Peru , my journal served as a trusty companion. I picked it out especially for the trip since I had finished my current journal just as I was leaving. I love it when I write in the last page at a perfect time of transition. I was attracted to a small book with a celtic design. I wrote so much in Peru there were times when my hand would ache. One day I was walking with my journal tucked into my vest and it fell down a drain. Luckily it was dry down there and to the astonishment of the Policia that helped me get it open, I crawled down into the street to retrieve it. Good times.

Funny, as I finish this blog I have been writing in the last of my Peruvian/Celtic journal. For me, the end of a journal represents a closure of sorts of stories that I will always take with me that are also somehow ending. I will share a couple of entries from this book now:

October 15th

There is a new confidence about me. How could there not be? I followed my heart here which is exactly where I needed to be. I am trusting my Self. As we were walking off the mountain today, my gait felt strong. I felt beautiful and confident and, I don't know.....charged somehow.

October 17th

I feel surprisingly unattached to much of anything or anyone right now. I guess you could say unattached to any story. It feels different, so light. In a way, I am just beginning my life.

Yesterday we were at the Temple of the Ancient Ones (I'm not sure of the Quechuan name). As I knelt at the beautiful altar there I was surprised at the grief that came up. As I placed my elbows and forehead against the rock, tears arose and when I finally pulled myself away I notice the stain of one of my tears. N wanted to know why, who and how the site was created. As far as I'm concerned, it may as well have been created for me in that moment.

Te Amo Mucho

In less than an hour I will head to the airport. I am flying from Arequipa to Lima tonight and early tomorrow from Lima to the States. I was feeling torn up about leaving until the last day or two, now I feel ready. The fact that I´ve been in the city and have been pretty sick in the last 36 hours helps my cause. Hopefully I will find the strength for the long trip home. Tonight, I should have pleanty of time to rest.

I´ve been thinking a lot about what went on for me during ceremony in Cachora. There is a story there so dear and close to my heart. A story I believe has been weighing heavily on me that I was able to face, experience through feeling and love and grief. A sacred wound, a blessing and a curse. There are few who I will share this story with as there are gaps I do not quite understand myself. In my heart I know the details are not important, but my ego wants to know when, who, and was it me? As I honor this story I will live the questions knowing that the answers may or may not reveal themselves with time and are not neccarily an important part of the story.

I´ve visited a lot of churches in Peru, considering I´ve hardly stepped foot in a church for the past ten years. I have felt at peace in these places of worship. Not one with God, but with my Self. I even attended a service in Cusco when I was feeling a bit rattled. Listening to others chant or pray was calming and I even knelt at the pew in meditation. Before I fell ill I visited Monestario Santa Catalina here in Arequipa. I spent over three hours there, wandering like I do, taking in the energy of this monestary which could be a city in an of itself. I´m so curious about these women, the nuns, so commited to their love of God. Living in small cells and praying for the people daily. I saw a nun when I was at Santa Catalina. I was not expecting that although I believe there are over thirty currently living there. She was absolutely glowing in her beautiful white habbit. She looked happy, her expression similar to the woman on Amanti Island who´s family I stayed with and I suppose not disimilar to the expression on my face as I hiked toward Apu Asugante or watched the Condors fly over my head at Colca Canyon or simply sat in the square at Cusco.

Oh, as I recall these memories I am taken back again to that place where I can´t bare to leave! But more than that, I am full of gratitude for these experiences, for the shifts that are occuring, for the friends I´ve made along the way and for my friends and family that allowed this trip to happen for me. Maybe next time I´ll bring you with me :) See you in the States.

The Year in Stories Part - Life of A Wanderer Part III

Continued......

Grief and Pain

When I settled down in San Diego for a few months a lot of my "stuff" came up. I started this blog then as a 'practice' of telling my stories and learning more about my Self and the journey that I'm on. If you've followed "re-membered stories" you know that I had a lot of grief come up during this time. It took weeks of feeling physically ill and believing that I was being revisited by my old friend depression, when I decided to turn towards the grief. Once I made this decision it poured out of me. My physical discomfort assisted the grief and helped it bubble to the surface.

I was in a good place to go through this. Away from the comfort of friends and family, I was unable to distract myself or hide and bury what I was feeling. I had to turn inward and find a way to comfort my Self and find strength in the core of my being. My friend D, who I was living with was able to give me the space and acceptance I needed to wail and rant and rave and rest and laugh. The ocean was my sanction, and the perfect container for my tears. I began to know that there was a reason for the grief and the pain, that it would help me continue to cultivate my gifts and really understand grief so that I can help others grieve. I also learned the importance of self love and compassion, intigration and nurturing self.

I spent time at the Ideal Hotel and Red Lotus Society, a community of seekers and peace education. I volunteered at the tea room and was able to attend yoga, meditation, and other classes. (I was heartbroken to hear that the Red Lotus Society has since evacuated the hotel.) I began practicing Falun Gong regulary, and on the beach in Encinidas.

Back in Utah

An oppurtunity came up to work in Utah this Summer so I came back in July, knowing that there was unfinished work here with some commitments I had made to my Self on the vision quest. My time here has been an intense journey of shifting and more severence. Old patterns and ways of being continue to creep in and I am constantly learning what I do and do not find comfort in, what is nurturing for me. Relationships have shifted and there has been a lot of grief in that but such shifts are making way for new relationships. I find strength in my relationship with my authentic self, although it is not always easy to be true to that.

I have found love and support in unexpected places and am surprised by this life that I have created. The days have become unspoken gifts. Gifts of love and learning. My health still suffers but I am cultivating a new relationship with my body and I have accepted this as part of the shift. I have a lot to make up for as I tried for years to ignore my body.

I am living in gratitude, learning from different mentors, teachers and friends. Growing from Grandmother Earth and my relationship with her and Self. As I go forward making decisions with my heart and arguing with old beliefs that no longer serve me, I know that anything I can plan is too small so I do not make many plans.

In a lot of ways this past year has been the hardest of my life. It is not easy to really turn towards Self, and it has been such a blessing to reflect on my journey this past month through re-membered stories. "Pathmaker, there is no path. The path is made by walking."

Loss & Vitality

I had an incredible appointment with my naturopath today that began with a poem I read in Ode Magazine while in the waiting room, and ended with two people who are genuinlly concerned for me and my health (very different from my experience with a western medicine doctor a month or so ago).

I left thinking about the relationship between vitality and loss. Why? I dunno, this is the way my mind works lately. I believe that not much is accidental and I've noticed that when I look at life metaphorically, I learn so much more about life and Self. So here's what brought me to start thinking about the link between these two unseemingly connected subjects.

I'll start with the poem I read about loss:

You are cloud, sea, forgetting;
you are also what you lost in a moment
we are all those who have left
The reflection of our face in the mirror changes each instant
and every day has it's own labyrinth.
The cloud vanishing in the sunset is our image;
endlessly, a rose becomes another rose.


--Jorge Luis Borges


When I am getting accupuncture, as my naturuopath is putting in the needles, she asks me to take a deep breath, breathing in health and vitality, breathing out any tension or stress. This is what got me thinking about vitality. Here are some of the definitions from the dictionary:

1.capacity to live and develop; also : physical or mental vigor especially when highly developed
2.power of enduring

Several years ago I was working through some grief with my therapist at the time and I remember saying "Am I going to spend my entire life grieving?" In the past six months I have cultivated my relationship with grief, knowing that yes grief and vitality can and do go hand in hand. Also knowing that grief is a constant journey in this life. Has grief helped with my compacity to live and develop? Absolutely! Is it directly tied into my power of enduring? Yes, I believe so. Martin Pretchel reminds us in his speech "Grief and Praise", if we don't grieve something after it is gone, it means we didn't love it, we didn't live it.

I am what I lost in a moment. And I'll take with me what I learned from that loss. Through loss, I will grow and I will gain, as a rose becomes another rose. 

The Year in Stories - Life as a Wanderer Part I

Shaking things Up

Approximately a year ago I left my job of ten years not knowing or much caring what was next but knowing that I was unfulfilled and longing for...what? I had some savings, paid out vacation and a cleaning job at which I made a few hundred dollars a month. I sold most of my furniture, had a yard sale and donated much of what was left. (Two of my friends currently have some of my things in their houses and my clothes in their closets from that time.)

With a flood of emotion I moved out of the only apartment I ever really called home. I had carefully chosen the paint and the decor. One could walk in and instantly have an idea of who I was. I loved being there alone with Sage or throwing parties with friends from different backgrounds that might not normally come together if they were not bound by me. When I walked in for the last time, this place that I loved and lived was empty except for my beloved dog and bike, and I completely broke down. My beautiful neighbor helped me smudge the place and overcome with grief, I walked away from all that I had worked for.

Going Inward

The next several months were a time of great reflextion and beginning to really look at my Self in a way that I had previously been afraid to. It was a time of severance. Letting go of old beliefs about that did not service my Soul. Getting to know my Self without the label "depression" over my head. Welcoming my "loyal soldiers" home, thanking them for protecting me and giving them new orders. I read books, wrote pages and pages in my journal, and dove into my work with my spiritual mentor, Nancy. I began to see an incredible Naturopath, Dr. Babbie Lester and she helped me get off of anti-depressants with acupuncture, a strict diet and some NLP work. I mostly lived with my brother and every other weekend and once during the week I stayed with my friends the MacGregor's. Our friendship flourished as well as other relationships such as that with my mother and a friendship with someone I had dated and fallen in love with the previous year. Surprisingly, there were other friendships that began dissapate. This was very difficult for me. I had never had such a large network of friends as I had that year and it was with their support that I found the strength to make some of the decisions I had made. How could some of them not understand what I was doing? Not only that but be scared of me and my path? But I had to accept that at that time, I didn't have anything to learn from these people and they had nothing to receive from me. I did not have a job but I was doing the most important work of my life.

Vision Quest
My life was going in a new direction and all of this was great but what was I going to do with it? What was my purpose? As I was crying out for direction to a woman that has played an integral role in my journey mentioned Vision Quest and directed me to go out and get the book "Soulcraft" by Bill Plotkin, and to start reading it now. I did and wow did it speak to me. As I read about the art of being lost and searching for your one unique gift and finding that gift through nature I fell in love with this book and new that I would do my Vision Quest with Animas Valley Institute.

My particular Vision Quest took place in the Anza Borrego desert of California. This was a sacred, profound time in a sacred place full of sharing, more severance, ceremony, cultivating my relationship with the Earth, and knowing. I spent 12 days in the desert with fourteen beautiful people that I was blessed to get to know in a very profound way. Four of those days consisted of a fast and solo out on the land. It was amazing to see how all the work that I had done, without knowing, was in preparation for the Vision Quest. Not just any Vision Quest, but this particular Vision Quest, with these particular people in that particular time and on that particular land. You've witness bits and pits of it here and I myself only understand glimpes of it now but I believe over time I will begin to understand it more. I have also noticed recently that I as I step further into my authentic self, I feel inspired to share more about my Vision Quest. If you ever have questions, feel free to ask.

To be continued.........

With Gratitude

I go into this month full of gratitude. As I recognize my gratitude the tears well up. After a week of spiritual healing and growth I feel a strength inside of me and it is so good to be in that place. All of it, everything I need, love or want to create, it's all inside of me.

Of recent, I have known grief, and I've know the love that comes after grief. Big love. I've not had a home but have found home wherever I go, with new and old friends, family that I've loved and family that I'm just getting to know. Relationships have shifted and there has been loss. As difficult as this is, the shift in old relationships has made way for new ones. My body has been through a great shift, a detox of sorts and it has changed. It is softer and looks different and I'm starting to see my Self differently. There are no more secrets and in the place of secrets is strength and authenticity. I am loving in a way I had forgotten that I knew how. I have re-membered. Two of my favorite people have vowed to be partners today, two people that were always going to be together.

I am learning to work with my gifts. Many of them do not have a name. There are beautiful goings on around me. I know my name. A year ago I did not know what I wanted to be or even what I was walking away from. Now I know what I walk toward and I do so with my head held high and a spark in my eyes. "Pathmaker, there is no path. The path is made by walking."

Take Care

There's is a beautiful rainstorm going on outside as I type I am listening to it pound against the pavement and I am filled with my favorite scent - thunderstorm! I am having a me night. I go through these major shifts emotionally and I'm beginning to learn the importance of being gentle around these times. Like a lot of us, my instinct is to push through, keep going, what's next, let me have it! And in leaping ahead to the next step it's almost as though I forget to take something with me and I get off balance. I'm learning to take care.

We get upset when our partner doesn't compliment us regularly or when our friends don't call to check in or when boss doesn't give us the pat on the back that we know we deserve. So why don't we demand these things of ourselves?! Tonight, I'm demanding self compassion and self love. I'm setting aside my list of things to do. I took a bath, I made myself a good meal had a glass of wine. I'm coloring in my new book of power Mandalas (which I must say is suprisingly relaxing!) and I'm going to go to bed early with a clear mind.

On a bit of a side note, I've been complaining a little bit lately that I "just want somewhere to be". It's occurred to me tonight that although I don't currently have a quote on quote home right now of course I have somewhere to be and I'm so blessed! Right now I'm sitting in a beautiful loft overlooking a great city and as I look outside there's a goddamn rainbow (of course there is). I was able to spend last week with my best friends who are so much fun to be around. I have many places to be and I'm vowing to everyday be grateful for that.

I have a couple of friends in mind as I write this blog tonight who have been through some major shifts and have experienced some grief, whether through a death of a person or a destruction of a belief or a shift in perception. Remember my friends, as I have been reminded time and time again, be gentle with yourself, give your Self all the time in the world it you need to grieve or praise or to just be. Love your Self enough to take care.

Shiny Things

I must say I am feeling somewhat desperate. I have committed to the grief, it has been difficult to stay present with it. It is hard not to attach my stories to the grief. My body is in so much pain, it hurts to sit still as much as it hurts to move. I was hoping the grieving would release some of this but I woke up hurting more this morning than I did yesterday. I want to use what I have learned to get through this but it is getting harder to remember the tools I have acquired. At times I know that my people are with me and that I am connected to the Earth and there are other times that I feel lost and scared and completely alone.

Yesterday at the ocean I remembered a time in February that I was running on the beach. I believe it was a day or two before the vision quest. As I was running I kept getting distracted by the beauty of the waves and I finally gave in and began to play in them like a child. I was overwhelmed with a sense of love and light that I have never experienced before. I told this story during the first vision quest council and described it as falling in love with my Self. I was the love and the light I felt that day. I have to remember that I am still Love and Light, although I can't currently run or play, and at times the grief seems to overwhelm me. I am of the Earth. That is why I am here, grieving now.

A friend of mine told me of a village where they honor their grief daily and their tears are known as jade beads that make things shine. I give my jade beads to the Earth. So I am asking you, when you see shiny things like leaves glimmering in the sun or a raindrop on a blade of grass, think of me and my tears and help me remember that we are connected and I am not alone. Maybe even give a jade bead of your own.

Release

I've been cultivating my relationship with grief. I would not have chosen these lessons for myself right now as I am stepping into this new life but apparently there is more work to be done in regards to my understanding of depression and sorrow. I have lived with depression most of my life. Last year I went off of antidepressants. I was able to do this with the skills I learned in psychotherapy, spiritual work and naturopathic treatment. I have been doing great and feel a lot less foggy now that I am no longer taking Prozac or anything of the like.

To my surprise, feelings of hopelessness and despair began to creep up these last couple of weeks. I had been warned that some of my old "stuff" would come up post vision quest but this has been rough. On top of the emotional pain, I have been in a lot of physical pain as well. I have had muscle aches and soreness and a hunger and thirst that can't seem to get satisfied. I began to wish that I could turn back the clock and was almost angry at my Self for leaving my "normal" life behind even though deep down I know it was not fulfilling. I have been near tears constantly, it was showing up at my new job and I have been unable to explore this city because of the physical pain. "What do you want?", I asked the sorrow and the pain. It has taken me a while to begin to get answers but this is what I've come up with so far:

I need to live grief in order to know it. Depression is the suppression of grief, or any feelings for that matter. So, instead of trying so hard to fight it or to "get better" I am letting my Self feel the grief, love it and thank it for it's lessons and it's beauty. I will not insult it by masking it with prescriptions. I'm not even sure what or whom I am grieving for, it doesn't really matter. I need to understand the workings of depression in order to help others. I've lived it but never quite understood. I believe that the pain is here to make sure that I know. The vision quest brought a lot to the surface but as one of my fellow questers said recently, the vision quest was the easy part. As I go forward I have to fully understand my stories in order to share my gifts.

I found something yesterday that I wrote in my journal on the vision quest, shortly after my solo:

Release

There is a story full of weeping and horror
Know the story
More importantly know the thing you call pain
and the thing you call suffering
Live it
LOVE it
Let the wealth of it flow in you and be grateful for it every day
Love the Other's
Remember that time is not of importance
If you have one wish let it be Release
If you cry no more something is lost
Always Release
Open the gate, be the Others
Remember Grand Mother is there to hold you