Recently I was planning to attend a class or something, I can't remember exactly what the event was. I was talking to my roommate before hand and telling her how nervous I was about it. She said to me, "Really? I didn't think you got nervous about these kinds of things." Of course I do! I'll admit I do a lot of things by myself. If I always depended on other people to hang out with me I wouldn't do near as many things as I do, nor would I have met a lot of the people I have met. But I still get nervous and have a hard time not talking myself out of going. In fact, I still consider myself a relatively shy person. Tonight I'm going to a dinner where I will know absolutely no one and the only reason I know I won't back out it because I already bought a dish.
Then I started to think, what is it exactly what I'm nervous about? Whether or not people will like me? No, that's not it. I have plenty of people who like me and not enough time for those who don't. If there's one thing I've learned this past year it's that I'm not that comfortable in my comfort zone. I am a little bit nervous about busting out of these ridiculous jeans right now. You know what? I think I like the nerves. Maybe it's not nerves but excitement. It's a bit of a rush and just like everything else I've done, I'm sure I'll discover that there was nothing to be nervous about.
I went to a concert by myself a couple of months ago. It was at the Casbah and I felt totally comfortable. I was however, a bit of an anomaly there. I got a lot of "You're hear by yourself?" "Yes", I would say proudly, "I am."
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