Te Amo Mucho

In less than an hour I will head to the airport. I am flying from Arequipa to Lima tonight and early tomorrow from Lima to the States. I was feeling torn up about leaving until the last day or two, now I feel ready. The fact that I´ve been in the city and have been pretty sick in the last 36 hours helps my cause. Hopefully I will find the strength for the long trip home. Tonight, I should have pleanty of time to rest.

I´ve been thinking a lot about what went on for me during ceremony in Cachora. There is a story there so dear and close to my heart. A story I believe has been weighing heavily on me that I was able to face, experience through feeling and love and grief. A sacred wound, a blessing and a curse. There are few who I will share this story with as there are gaps I do not quite understand myself. In my heart I know the details are not important, but my ego wants to know when, who, and was it me? As I honor this story I will live the questions knowing that the answers may or may not reveal themselves with time and are not neccarily an important part of the story.

I´ve visited a lot of churches in Peru, considering I´ve hardly stepped foot in a church for the past ten years. I have felt at peace in these places of worship. Not one with God, but with my Self. I even attended a service in Cusco when I was feeling a bit rattled. Listening to others chant or pray was calming and I even knelt at the pew in meditation. Before I fell ill I visited Monestario Santa Catalina here in Arequipa. I spent over three hours there, wandering like I do, taking in the energy of this monestary which could be a city in an of itself. I´m so curious about these women, the nuns, so commited to their love of God. Living in small cells and praying for the people daily. I saw a nun when I was at Santa Catalina. I was not expecting that although I believe there are over thirty currently living there. She was absolutely glowing in her beautiful white habbit. She looked happy, her expression similar to the woman on Amanti Island who´s family I stayed with and I suppose not disimilar to the expression on my face as I hiked toward Apu Asugante or watched the Condors fly over my head at Colca Canyon or simply sat in the square at Cusco.

Oh, as I recall these memories I am taken back again to that place where I can´t bare to leave! But more than that, I am full of gratitude for these experiences, for the shifts that are occuring, for the friends I´ve made along the way and for my friends and family that allowed this trip to happen for me. Maybe next time I´ll bring you with me :) See you in the States.