Equality

In 2008, as I watched a pride flag fly in front of the world map engraved in the Mormon church office building amongst a sea of people, my heart swelled full of gratitude to be a part of such an important time in history. This image is imbedded in my mind even five years later as I read stories of both hate and love, around the arguments that have made their way to the supreme court, feeling gratitude still, as well as grief that we as a human race still find in necessary to even discuss marriage equality

With every year, nearly thirty three now, comes new insight, challenges and growth tied into my personal sexuality, yet never defined by it. In the past, I spent a long time attempting to redefine the way I love, to no avail. You see, I'm not gay, although not very straight . I love. I love short, tall, fat skinny, old, disabled, blonde, brunette, masculine, feminine, blonde, brunette, man and woman.

I love and I do so fully, regardless of past wounds, heartache, let alone gender. I was once married to a man, a relationship that did nothing for "protecting the sanctity of marriage". My current relationship is with a woman and is wrapped in beauty although it has it's challenges (i.e. long distance, overcoming fear, two extremely sensitive beings coming together), our relationship harms no one except maybe the feelings of my sweet, brave parents. Like I said, I've had my own struggle with self acceptance when I was young and even now I am not comfortable with the stares I may or may not be imaging that she and I receive when we are out together in public. Honestly, my biggest concern about the government recognizing our relationship is that she's Canadian and I'm American. So we have several lines to cross including boarder lines and equal signs.

This is just a little about a very small part of my journey with partnership, love and marriage. I have no idea if I will get married in the future and if I do so it will be merely to celebrate myself and whom I choose to love. It is also to say, let us be. Let us all be who we strive to be and treat one another equally, regardless of whom we fall in love with, how we decide to dress or to what or whom we pray to. We all deserve the same rights not as gay or straight, foreign or native, Christian or Agnostic, but as beings on this planet. Love is why we are here. Whether you or I love a man or a woman, are single or have a large family, let us strive to be better, to treat each other equally and with respect. I understand it is not about me personally, it is about all of us as a human race, striving to be the best we can be, to love in it's most raw form, to eat healthy real food that was meant to nourish us, not starve us of what we need most. Let us love in this manner as well, not only in marriage or relationship but in every day with every living being.