Disconnected

I went to a festival the other day that was meant to be in celebration of the Earth. The festival was full of people and portable johns and movie nachos and not very good bands and booths supposedly selling things that represented different parts of the world. Most of the crap was made in China. There were some decent parts: African dancers and a Latino band that was interesting but still it was no way that I would have thought to celebrate the Earth. I would rather be held by her on the desert floor, let her hear my cries when no one else is around to listen, climb gracefully up her beautiful rocks or watch the waves lap against her shores.

I had to park two miles away from the festival which was fine, I don't mind walking. But as I was following the herd of people towards the event I experienced a feeling that is not uncommon when I am in an overcrowded place: disconnected. And all of these people seemed disconnected from each other. It's no wonder that as a society we focus on searching for that special other to connect with romantically. No wonder we are procreating, are we seeking unconditional love in our children? No wonder we want to dress like each other or connect with a character in a television show. Can't we love each Other without romance or the same DNA or real people without a screen between us. Not that I myself don't long for a partner at times, it's possible that I'll have a child someday and I do cry every time I watch Grey's Anatomy.

I let myself get carried away with these thoughts at the fair but later as I was leaving, I pull it back and remember. I listened to an amazing group of Brazilian percussionists playing the drums int the park on and girls dancing and we were all connecting through music. I was reminded that if I pay attention, the connections are there. It's there when I receive a huge hug from a musician because the band played, I danced and we connected. It's there when a dear friend of mind finds a ring on the beach miles and miles from here that makes her think of me and we are connected. There is a connection with the owl feather that I carry with me and the owl that I saw in Anza Borrego. If I pay attention, I can think of ten instances in the past week of connecting with Others, human or otherwise. I was sailing and spontaneously thought of a friend of mine, not finding out until later that he has a special connection with sailing. We are all mirrors of each other. We are the same. We are one.

On another note, I feel incredibly shy about posting these thoughts and question the validity of the blog. But admittedly, I am questioning a lot of things these last few days. I am not sure how to share this blog, what to share and with whom. I do know it feels good to write and to connect.