And I'll Take Yours

Follow up to previous post "Take My Hand".

It seemed ironic that I just finished writing about reaching out for support and tonight I'm feeling something relating to the topic, but something I don't feel (or allow myself to feel) often. It's like a test, Mystery saying, "Oh Yeah, will you really reach out?" I suppose tonight the answer is not really, but sharing is a start, right?  As hard as it is for me to admit, even to myself, I find myself wanting to be...drum roll please....taken care of. I'm a strong, independent woman, and have been for a long time. I love this about myself, in the world of "pull yourself up by your bootstraps", although I've had my rough spots, I fill those boots well.

For tonight I'm tired. I've been working hard and a lot. Today was day nine for me and I still have four more to go. Nothing to crazy but when my health is not a hundred percent, I don't know, I'm just tired. I would love for someone to be here, maybe make me soup and tuck me into bed, laugh with me or tell me stories. Listen to mine. Someone to hold me and to be held. To my ego self it sounds weak and futile to want for such ridiculous things, for a ridiculous someone. But in this place of surrender, I will surrender to the wanting, at least for tonight, and ask my Self, "What are you really longing for? What companionship are you lacking in your self?" And another part of me will cut myself a little slack. And as I pour my self a cup of tea, tuck my self into bed, and read my self a story, I'll let my Self long for You.
 

Goodnight.