I was walking up to the grocery store the other day and there was a man just getting out of a cab. He was screaming at the cab driver to go back to his country, calling him a terriorst. This man was full of hatred but there was something else. He was surrounded in fear, self loathing and grief he did not know how to express.
That same day I had lunch with a few of my associates that I've known for years, all of a certain religious background. One staunch Mormon, who refuses to see anything different than stories he's been told, a woman who is on the same path but obviously does not want to be and another who's just a great guy who happens to be Mormon. We got into an interesting discussion about victims of abuse, whether or not to talk to children about sex, and what we have to learn as parents and children of parents. At one point in the conversation, the first man I mentioned brings up his sister in law who has a "problem" with homosexual attraction. "A problem?" I said, and he brushed me off. I walked away from the discussion not feeling angry or upset but grateful.
I did not come from a liberal family. (I don't like that word liberal it sounds so political). I was not taught to have an open mind. Yet somehow that as always been in me, a part of who I am. I remember at a young age my brother-in-law saying to me, out of the blue, "Don't ever marry a black man." This is the same brother in law that asked "Did I read your t-shirt right?" when he saw a picture of me in my "I'm not straight and I support equal rights" t-shirt. I don't get to wrapped up in the political scene although I did march around downtown Salt Lake City in 2008 with thousands of others protesting Prop 8. As I watched the rainbow flag glide past the church office building I remember being amazed that so much love could come out of a protest. There was not a hint of hate in that crowd.
I don't watch the news, I don't start arguments. but I've held hands with a woman in public, I don't pretend to be gay or straight and I support those who are either, I have friends who I know are illegal immigrants and I'm so glad they're here and I have been blessed to know them. I speak openly about depression and I don't feel different that people with mental or physical disabilities. I've been a drug addict, I've no qualms against anyone who has so much pain or grief that they don't know what to turn to but drugs or alcohol. I've never lived on the street but I've been homeless by choice. And no, I don't very often toot my own horn, but as I walked away from that lunch with my friends, people who are not at all like me, I felt proud of my life of equality. Not because I worked hard at it, or because I have a lot to fight for but because I came that way and I live my life as an example, every day.
Remember, that while you've certainly waded through your shit, there are others who have horribly, difficult stories that may be different than yours. Stories that you cannot imagine surviving. Remember this before you put another down or decide to hate. Look at what qualities they possess that you don't like to see in yourself, or on the flip side, what attributes do they have that you long for in yourself? Remember the love that you came from and what an important role it can play in these difficult times. The Universe needs you to re-member. Do not look outside yourself for the leader.
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